Getting Back - nearly a year later!

wow - I can't believe nearly a year has passed since my last post. Well I'd written in my last post how I felt I needed to devote more time to my meds(itation). Unfortunately it didn't work out quite like that. We ended up moving house and although I kept up my meds I didn't continue my walking meditation and listening meditation as I was, which seems to have been a mistake.

Anyway, I've been wondering recently how best to tackle situations where little things have been niggling me. I've come to the conclusion that it's best not to specifically devote time and mental energy targeting the issue head on. Instead, build up the core, underlying senses to make you mentally stronger in those situations...

that sounds a bit complicated...so let's have an example;

the dog licking his feet and other bits! - now this is a silly one, but it's just that the noise it makes had become such an issue to me. Every time I heard the lick it would make me snap at the dog, telling him off! not completely sane.

I'd tried just listening to the sound and trying to get used to it, but this seemed to make me worse. I couldn't control my thoughts.

So instead I spent time building up my listening mediation, listening to nature or whatever was going on around me while in a relaxing place. Similar to breathing meds you just need to keep coming back to focusing on the sounds and realise when your attention wonders.

How about an analogy to make it all make sense.

Let's say you wanted to make your legs stronger at the gym but you pulled a muscle in your thigh, if you kept doing legs curls regardless you'll compound the issue. If you isolate the issue, rest that muscle and work on other muscles, overall you will come out stronger.

maybe i'm babbling.

Fallen off the path a little.

OK - I haven't stopped meditating but a few things have been going on in my life that have made me extremely tired. The meditation sessions have felt squeezed in rather than a good relaxing time.

Being tired has always made me grumpy but luckily I have a lovely, understanding wife that copes well when I'm a little off balance.

So what's happened: We got a new puppy - I'd forgotten how much was involved in raising a pup. She's great but the toilet training is hard work and means many broken nights. And to add to that, my wife got a kidney infection. Man - it's hit her extremely hard. But on the plus side, she's so ill that she doesn't get to taste my wonderful cooking - if you can call it that!

Anyway, justification aside, I'm really looking forward to achieving some stability of mind. Got to ensure I make enough time to enjoy my meditation.

Dalia Lama - keeping it real, as always!

I wish I could remember all the little realisations I have so I could add notes to this blog. The blog just helps me reaffirm what are, hopefully, better ways of thinking.

I've been reading a book by the Dalai Lama (How to see yourself as you really are) - wow, he really takes your thoughts of reality to a new level!

He's helped me understand that you can't expect changes in behaviour to happen overnight. By approaching objects of meditation in the right way and over time you can start seeing things for what they really are - and this holds try for your behaviour.

Once you can see the behaviour (or whatever) in it's true light you can really accept it. The book touches on something that Buddhists call Dependant Arising which I'm beginning to get to grips with and may never fully understand but it's helped me start on that next level of meditation that I felt I was ready for.

Keeping on track

Things have been going pretty well. I've managed to stay on track. That's not to say it's been completely easy, the journey can get a little sketchy at times but I seem to cope with any wobbles along the way a little easier each time.


I guess that's how best to view anything in life - you can't expect to be 100% at all times. Just like the meditation exercises, the point is to realise when you're off track and to get back on to it.

From looking at myself and others around me that seems to be the biggest hurdle of all. When something testing comes along, it can feel impossible to get back on track;


   take someone that over eats for example - it's unrealistic to expect to eat 100% healthy all the time, however when that inevitable time comes that they eat something classed as unhealthy the temptation seems to be to chuck it all in. while they battle with guilt, feeling of failure etc, it must feel extremely hard to continue. The truth is, failure is quitting and the success is being on the path and being more happy with who you are and not what you feel you will become at the so called finishing post.

Letting Go

Seems clearer to me now that the main thing meditation enhances is the ability to let go. I even find that I have to consciously choose a line of thinking I want to pursue. I'm not saying that I don't have thoughts popup in to the forefront of my mind, but as and when they do, they just seem to automatically fade away.


One of the hardest things I faced when learning meditation was accepting the inevitable fact that thoughts come to your mind during meditation. Learning to let them go and return to your object of attention is what you are learning, not the annihilation of all thoughts. That may seem strange to some but it was a source of frustration at the early stages of my learning.


You'll find that during the meditation session, the more times you let go, the clearer and easier you can focus your attention. You might find like me, that after several minuets you hit a wall where your attention drifts quite a bit again. This seems to me like when people are doing endurance sports and 'hit the wall', once you're over it, things become easier again.

And just as with each meditation session, you go through cycles of clarity - you may find over the longer term, you experience times where you feel as if you're being knocked back (doubting if it's helping), just to find that once you've over the wall again things are even clearer than before.

Eye twitch gone.

I kept meaning to post this over the last few months. For the last 7 years I've had a rather annoying twitch in my left eye lid. It actually caused my vision to be altered every time it happened, and you can imaging how this could get on your nerves when it's happening 4 or 5 times every hour of every day.

Needless to say I'd read all the advice around; reduce stress, more sleep, good diet, exercise etc, "it will go within a few weeks" - I'm sure they usually do but not this one!

I'd done all that, and for the most part I certainly didn't think I was stressed, I usually slept very well and I'm pretty active. So how come for the last 8 or so months, the eye twitching has pretty much disappeared? Only one thing has changed, I started Meditating about a year ago. All I can think is that it's reduced anxieties that I didn't even realise I had. My mind certainly feels clearer more of the time, and my perspective on life has changed for the better.

I expect because I didn't solely set out to eradicate the twitch, i.e. I'd already accepted it and was no longer focusing on it, probably helped somewhat. Whatever the reasons, I'm very happy it's better.

Live and Learn but Learn to Live.

I'm not sure if that's already a well known saying or not, but I just came up with it and liked the sound of it.